there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
