no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
