My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
