When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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