i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
When are your genitals available?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
