The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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