You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
