i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
We're too hungover to prance.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
