my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
