Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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