like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
