He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i permit you to call me
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
How does one acquire holy water?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
