Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
