porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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