I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Randomize
