You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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