normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
