i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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