Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
this is an emotional support booty call
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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