CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I understand Curling. That high.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Even my vagina gasped.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
