Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
