Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
