no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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