Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
