If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
