***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We are all done wearing pants today
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
