also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
two words...techno handjob
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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