Umm I'm too high to move.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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