Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
