dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
