Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
