Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
