Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
