4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
