I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
this just has baby written all over it
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwadâ€
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