Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
