hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
