you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize