belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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