lets start a swedish sibling band together
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
