i'm signing you up for texting rehab
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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