When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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