YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Randomize
