Me too!
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
