I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
