Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
