have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
