I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
