Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
