why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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