thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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