You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
