no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize