That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
