hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
