Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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