I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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