I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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