Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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