so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
