Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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