Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
