Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
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